Let’s start the holiday season with a personal check-in, find authentic happiness, and differentiate between genuine gratitude and toxic positivity.
The CSN planning committee is truly thankful for this community and your engagement in our sessions, especially during this time of year. Enjoy your Thanksgiving weekend!
:: Image of the Week
Image from Instagram by joyfulsmolthings
A Message Going Into the Holiday Season:
“Self-care is giving the world the best of you, instead of what’s left of you.” – Katie Reed
Some days, it’s just a lot. Work stuff, home stuff, family, friends, community – and somewhere in all of that, trying to make a bit of time for ourselves.
Maybe some of it is … wanting to please, the wanting to help, the feeling we have to be there, the need to prove ourselves, to explore our potential. So much pressure we can end up putting on ourselves. And then let’s add in societal pressure, layered with the expectations of others. It can feel overwhelming. Because it is a lot.
“We can’t be all things to all people all of the time – we can be a little more conscious a little more of the time.” I share this with others, and yet I sometimes (often) find myself still pulled into that habit of focusing outward. Now being there for others is not bad – it’s a good thing! But it’s so very easy to forget to also be a little more conscious, a little more often, focused inward – on us!
It’s not our job to be everything to everyone. Be kind to yourself, be gentle with yourself, and remember to look after yourself, too. – Emma Lloyd
:: Communication
Five Ways to Be a Better Listener
Listening is a skill that can transform our relationships, our work, and even how we view the world. Being a good listener isn’t just about hearing what’s being said—it’s about connecting, understanding, and truly engaging with the person in front of you. Kevin Eikenberry shares five ways to become a better listener, starting with a decision to improve and ending with techniques that make a real difference.
https://kevineikenberry.com/video/five-ways-to-be-a-better-listener-remarkable-tv/
Handle Awkward Conversations Like a Pro
It is OK to feel awkward. More and more people use the word, which either indicates that more of us feel that way, own up to that we feel that way, or have become so much worse at real human interaction that it more often creates awkward situations.
Jason Feifer describes an awkward situation in his blog post. It can also be that there is some property of ourselves that we feel awkward about, and unless we can address it, it instead becomes a trigger point.
https://www.jasonfeifer.com/handle-awkward-conversations-like-a-pro/
:: Gratitude and Appreciation
The Difference Between Genuine Gratitude and Toxic Positivity
Kevin Monroe wrote:
“I really despise toxic positivity.” That’s how Stephanie Obadare started her heartfelt message in response to a post I shared last week, one that resonated deeply with her— and stirred more thoughts than we should squeeze into a quick comment. Instead, she sent a message…that started a conversation. In our conversation, Stephanie shared several amazing insights about the difference between toxic positivity and what she called genuine gratitude. Toxic positivity encourages people to overlook real issues and stifle strong emotions. Contrast that with genuine gratitude, which acknowledges challenges while appreciating the good that still exists. It was such a beautiful exchange; I asked Stephanie for permission to share it with you.
Understanding the Distinction
Toxic positivity tells you to “just be positive” or “look on the bright side” while dismissing your legitimate struggles. It’s the emotional equivalent of putting a Band-Aid on a broken leg and pretending everything is fine. Genuine gratitude doesn’t require you to deny reality or pretend everything is perfect. As Stephanie discovered, it’s about recognizing that good things can exist simultaneously with challenges. Genuine gratitude is about choosing what you focus on while still acknowledging what needs to change.
Read more on delivering genuine gratitude in this post by Kevin.
:: Burnout
How HR Leaders (and Other Leaders!) Can Avoid Burnout
Rachel Druckenmiller, CEO of Unmuted, shares her journey from burnout to living a life of purpose. She discusses the importance of unmuting yourself, setting boundaries, and embracing vulnerability. Learn how self-affirmation and finding your voice can lead to more meaningful work and relationships.
Rachel shares her personal journey from burnout to living a life of purpose and passion. She dives into the transformative power of unmuting yourself, embracing vulnerability, and setting boundaries to live authentically and with greater impact.
Rachel also reveals how overcoming self-doubt and finding your voice can lead to more meaningful work and relationships, and she shares the lessons she learned from her own experiences and coaching others.
In this episode, Rachel Discusses:
- Strategies for aligning your actions with what brings you the most joy and fulfillment.
- Simple practices to boost your confidence and remind yourself of your inherent worth.
- The importance of embracing vulnerability and finding your voice to live more authentically.
- How setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care can lead to a more balanced and fulfilling life.
https://hrleaders.co/podcast/how-hr-leaders-can-avoid-burnout?_hsmi=333555170
Rachel also sings! Check out her new release, Believe In You, and other songs at https://music.youtube.com/search?q=rachel+druckenmiller
:: Self-Leadership Development
3 Bad Habits That Will Keep You from Becoming a Good Leader
Bad people management causes employee turnover and adversely impacts organizations worldwide—it’s just a fact.
Typically, you’ll find that most bad managers are good people. They’re not inherently evil or out to destroy the lives of others in the workplace. But, truth is, they are awfully misplaced in the highly esteemed role of leading other human beings.
Until they commit to change. Sometimes, drastic change.
Most of the time, the failures of people management come down to mindset—old-school management paradigms that don’t align with behaviors you’ll find in successful, human-centered leaders. Marcel Schwantes tells us in this article on LinkedIn.
“Good habits are worth being fanatical about.” – John Irving
:: Mental Health and Self-Care
How To Uncover What No Longer Serves You
Life is a series of stages. What is suitable and appropriate for one stage of our life may no longer serve a purpose in the next. Holding on to these things can prevent a new career or relationship without knowing it. So every once in a while, we clean our desks and lives.
How do we know when something or someone is not serving us?
Things that no longer serve tend to:
- Leaving you exhausted.
- Wasting time and money.
- Creating self-doubt.
- Are emotional vampires.
Change is hard and, for some, all but impossible. And letting go of items that serve no purpose in our lives is the epitome of change. We often hang onto these things because they are familiar. They have become a habit, or we believe it will take a monumental effort to let go — energy we do not have. It can be little things such as cleaning an overstuffed closet, moving, or even reevaluating a career or relationship.
https://mindfulzen.co/things-not-serving-you/
The New Happy Explained by Author Stephanie Harrison
The New Happy is a book and newsletter by Stephanie Harrison on how to get rid of the old ways of thinking happiness can be obtained (money, working harder, pleasing others) and focusing on new ways to work on happiness (gratitude, community, self-care, etc.). She was able to discuss and decipher her ideas in this welcoming conversation with the Action for Happiness team. We’ve shared her images several times in the PP newsletter and recommend checking her out in this recorded webinar.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YRoQ1jBxzpk&feature=youtu.be
“The best way to predict the future is to create it.” – Abraham Lincoln
:: CSN’s Book of the Week Recommendation
Trust and Inspire: How Truly Great Leaders Unleash Greatness in Others
We have a leadership crisis today, where even though our world has changed drastically, our leadership style has not. Most organizations, teams, schools, and families today still operate from a model of “command and control,” focusing on hierarchies and compliance from people. But because of the changing nature of the world, the workforce, work itself, and the choices we have for where and how to work and live, this way of leading is drastically outdated.
Stephen M.R. Covey has made it his life’s work to understand trust in leadership and organizations. In his newest and most transformative book, Trust and Inspire, he offers a simple yet bold solution: to shift from this “command and control” model to a leadership style of “trust and inspire.” People don’t want to be managed; they want to be led. Trust and Inspire is a new way of leading that starts with the belief that people are creative, collaborative, and full of potential. People with this kind of leader are inspired to become the best version of themselves and to produce their best work. In this “beautifully written page-turner” (Amy Edmondson, Harvard Business School professor), Covey offers the solution to the future of work: where a dispersed workforce will be the norm, necessitating trust and collaboration across time zones, cultures, personalities, generations, and technology.
Trust and Inspire calls for a radical shift in the way we lead in the 21st century, and Covey shows us how.
:: Work Culture & Team Development
How To Recruit Leaders In Your Volunteer Organization
For those on campus involved in volunteer groups, this article is for you! To attract volunteer leaders, invest in connection, clarity, curiosity, and commitment.
You’ve seen it happen. The same dedicated people carry the load year after year while your most qualified potential leaders hide in the back, politely declining. Or you’ve got some enthusiastic volunteers who step up—but then burn out and walk away. Sound familiar? When attracting busy, talented people to lead, the secret is to start with connection, clarity, curiosity, and commitment. Whether you’re leading a volunteer group, a non-profit, or a community team, these four dimensions will help you attract and retain leaders who can keep your mission thriving.
https://letsgrowleaders.com/2024/10/04/recruit-leaders-volunteer-organization
Start Small for Big Impact: How to Introduce Radical Candor to Your Team
CSN featured the book Radical Candor by Kim Scott earlier this year in our book club series.
Starting small is the way to go when building a more radically candid culture. Trying to change an entire company’s culture all at once is like trying to boil the ocean—it will take all your energy and is impossible. Instead, focus on creating “pockets of excellence” where small groups can experiment and demonstrate success. You can dot this within your work team by following the advice in this podcast with Kim and Jason Rosoff.
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-introduce-radical-candor-your-team-start-small-9wnzc/
“Don’t try to rush progress. Remember—a step forward, no matter how small, is a step in the right direction. Keep believing.” – Kara Goucher
:: Upcoming Events
Information & Technology Leadership Conference
Join your information and technology colleagues at the 2024 Information & Technology Leadership Conference on December 3! Former Michigan CIO Laura McCain Patterson will keynote this free event for UW–Madison employees and students. Choose from 15 sessions on topics like managing change, AI, and team building. Attend virtually via Zoom from 8:30am-4pm. Questions? Contact itlc@wisc.edu.
Date: Tuesday, December 3, 2024
Time: 8:30 am-4:00 pm Central Time.
Location: In person at the Discovery Building and online on Zoom
The Art of Self-Leadership Webinar with Heather Younger
Date: Tuesday, December 10, 2024
Time: 12:00-1:00 pm Central Time
Online via Zoom
It’s time to cultivate a transformative mindset around personal advocacy and self-leadership. Join us for an exclusive one-hour webinar with best-selling author Heather R Younger, one of the world’s leading experts on Caring Leadership® and active listening in the workplace.
Heather will share powerful insights from her much-anticipated fourth book, The Art of Self-Leadership: Discover the Power Within You and Learn to Lead Yourself, set for release this January. Discover Heather’s secret to harnessing your inner strengths, advocating for yourself, and unlocking a new level of personal and professional growth.
In Heather’s fun and easy-to-understand style, you’ll learn:
- Proven strategies to elevate your leadership, no matter your role or career stage
- How to positively influence others through intentional thoughts and actions
- Why self-care is vital to sustain peak performance—and more!
We will also feature a live Q&A, during which you can ask Heather your questions. Don’t miss this opportunity to learn from one of the best—reserve your spot today!
https://weavinginfluence.com/webinars/art-of-self-leadership-webinar/?_hsmi=334627310