Planners’ Picks — December 21, 2021

Planners’ Picks

A collection of resources from CSN planning committee members worth mentioning

We wind down the year with some self-love reflection and assessing what we can control. We also find some flow, call on courage, and get curious. Next week we’ll recap the year we just made it through!


||| Image of the Week: |||

“You have power over your mind — not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” – Marcus Aurelius


||| Resources on Mental Health and Self-Care |||

How to Cultivate What Goes into Your Brain

In this episode of S*%! People Say, local businesswoman Jackie Hermes talks about controlling what goes into your mind—which is much easier said than done. You are absolutely in charge of the information you consume. People are stressed out constantly by not filtering what goes into the brain (the news, social media, negative people, etc.) and I used to get bogged down by external inputs and negativity, too.

It’s easy to unfollow, unfriend or muting, in practice. But a lot harder in reality. In this episode, she shares tips on how you can control what goes into your mind: turning off the TV, unsubscribing from podcasts or people, etc. Last but not least is breaking up with friends or family—most don’t but you CAN make this choice. Get clear and set boundaries with whom you want to be around. Ultimately, it’s all up to you.

I Will, I Won’t, I Want: The Willpower Instinct

Willpower is integral for our success and reaching our goals. But, what is it? Psychologist Kelly McGonigal says that willpower is not just in your head, it’s a bodily process that, like our muscles, we can strengthen. She sits down with Piya Chattopadhyay to discuss what willpower is and why stress is its natural enemy.

“Every Action You Take is a VOTE for the Person You Want to Become.” – James Clear

How to Love Yourself

Author and social activist bell hooks on how to love yourself:

“One of the best guides to how to be self-loving is to give ourselves the love we are often dreaming about receiving from others. There was a time when I felt lousy about my over-forty body, saw myself as too fat, too this, or too that. Yet I fantasized about finding a lover who would give me the gift of being loved as I am.

It is silly, isn’t it, that I would dream of someone else offering to me the acceptance and affirmation I was withholding from myself. This was a moment when the maxim “You can never love anybody if you are unable to love yourself” made clear sense. And I add, “Do not expect to receive the love from someone else you do not give yourself.”

Source: All About Love: New Visions


||| Resources on Work Culture & Team Development |||

Why the “Velvet Hammer” is a Better Way to Give Constructive Criticism

It’s time to bag the sandwich method of delivering bad news. You know, the technique where you say something nice, then drop in the criticism, and the end with something nice. It’s not like the person won’t notice that the center of the sandwich is terrible; the method is really designed to make it easier on the giver.

“When you communicate something to somebody, it’s irreversible and irretrievable,”says Joy Baldridge, author of The Joy in Business: Innovative Ideas to Find Positivity (and Profit) In Your Daily Work Life. “You can’t take it back, and it can be difficult to know what words to say in order to approach somebody and give them feedback. Whether you need to say they did or didn’t do or something, it feels uncomfortable.”

The old methods of feedback can have a ripple effect with your team, resulting in people calling in sick, getting upset, or even quitting. But conflict avoidance isn’t the answer. Instead, Baldridge suggests using her “velvet hammer” method, which is soft like velvet but packs a punch.

Change: How to Turn Uncertainty Into Opportunity

Change is everywhere, it’s increasing in pace, and it’s not going away. Successful change takes more than great processes – it’s your people who make change happen. As people, we’re wired to react to change to survive, which can make change feel difficult or even threatening.

The good news is that there is a predictable pattern to change. When your people and leaders understand and navigate this pattern, they learn to manage reactions to change, proactively prepare for it, and get more effective results.

“Fear comes from a lack of knowledge. Accelerate your learning, eliminate your fear.” – Jay Shetty

Finding Flow – When Work Feels Like Play

Angela Duckworth asks: Have you ever loved what you’re doing so much, you lost track of time?

Learn more about finding the psychological state known as flow, in my latest tip of the week from Character Lab.


||| Resources on Self-Leadership Development |||

More Courage = More Confidence

Sometimes, it can seem so hard. Sometimes it seems as if no matter how many times we try, we just keep starting over again. With so many things, often that is just the way it is. Yet, with confidence, there is a better way.

Confidence is 100% directly and proportionally impacted by Courage.  See this post from Mareo McCracken, author of Really Care For Them, and the comments that follow on Linkedin.

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow.”” —Mary Anne Radmacher

Book Review: ‘The Heart of Business’​ by Hubert Joly

More than a must read, this book is a roadmap for all leaders preparing to meet the challenges ahead. At least, here is a CEO who shows how a business with employees living an inspiring purpose can be successful and how putting people first and creating ‘human magic’ are essential to a sustained performance and unlock value for all stakeholders.

Surprising Benefits of Curiosity and Simple Ways to Nurture it

Young children have an insatiable desire to explore and discover the world around them. They are incessant questioners, and they don’t worry what others will think about them not knowing the answers.  But as children grow older, self-consciousness creeps in, along with the desire to appear confident and demonstrate expertise. As adults, the desire to project confidence, competence, and intelligence often stifles what is left of that childlike sense of curiosity. Read this article from Dr. Melissa Hughes on some of the benefits of being curious.